So, As you may have read, I have come out as being transgendered to my girls, and my parents. But there is still a long way to go. Me and the girls had a fun, girly, weekend last week. I grew more confident than ever about myself. I was ready to go out of the house with them completely feminine.
No, that did not happen. I got a couple of shots of us together, and I was thrilled. But after printing the pictures, I noticed that the girls only wanted picture that only had the two of them, and not the ones with my feminine self. I was devastated and spent the rest of the night crying my eyes out.
I came to the conclusion that I really don't look good as a girl. They know it. Yes, they accepted me and we had fun. But they were also embarrassed by me. That's why they did not want to leave the house with me, and that's why they had no interest in having pictures of me. It hurt a lot, and I don't think I will ever recover from that blow. But the fact remains that I am coming out more and more, so eventually, I need to get over myself and deal with what I have to work with. Sucks, but it's the truth.
Anyways, about the help. I was diagnosed yesterday with clinical depression. I will have new meds that should work way better than what I am on. I'm so excited for this. Over the past couple of months, blogging, along with all my other hobbies just drifted away. I've felt like doing nothing but sleeping. So with the new meds, which will take a few weeks to start working, I should be up and capping again.
I will also be getting to a psychiatrist to get my head on straight about who I want to be in life. And my opinion on the girls and everyone else at this time, is basically, fuck em if they don't care or are embarrassed by me. So, I am in a great mood with all of this going on, and I even did some capping tonight.
After the meds kick in, I should be back full time. But until then, here is some new stuff I did tonight.
Kisses,
Quinn
No comments:
Post a Comment