Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Probably Taking a break, not by choice

So, I have been in and out of hospitals as of late. It's kind of a scary feeling looking at the ER ceiling for hours and hours on end.  And by the looks of things, it's not going to stop anytime soon. Diagnoses are coming and going rather quickly.

I'd like to say I will continue posting as much as I have in the past, but this last week has shown me that I may not have much time to make new material. Hopefully, it will get better and I can make it back on here soon. Unfortunately, until someone can actually figure out what is wrong with me, I make no promises of the future.

I remember reading other peoples captions for so long. It was so nice to be able to mentally put myself in those situations. God, it would have been great to be born a real girl. But alas, we are stuck with the lives that we are given. Would be nice though to come across some funky medallion that would transport me into someone else's body; especially right now. But I guess that would be selfish of me, wouldn't it? It wouldn't be right to make someone else suffer as I have been.

However, in these dark times where there doesn't seem to be any answers, I regret making the choices that I have made. I have chosen to hide myself in shadows these 30 plus years. I've pretended to be something that I am not. I never really showed the real world who I was or what I was all about. Don't do that to yourself. If you feel anything like me, let the world know. Who we are is we are, and if they hate us for it, then so be it.

Be you. Don't let them make you bend to who they expect you to be. Be free; live free.

I know this note makes it sound like I am dying. For all I know I am, at minimum I sure wish I just would. With everything going on inside me right now, death would be sweet. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking suicide or anything. I would never be able to do something like that. But with the agony I am going through, my mind sure wishes I just didn't exist anymore.

But truthfully, no doctor has ever diagnosed me and stuck with it. So I have no clue what to expect next.

I will try to keep posting, but I'm not really up to making new stuff. So when I am well enough to jump on a computer, I have some older stuff that I will post.

If I just up and don't post for a long time, I apologize in advance. But just cut me some slack. I'll see you when I see you.

Kisses,
Quinn

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